A 23-year-old Russian man recently revealed that he trained and used ChatGPT to filter through 5,239 girls’ dating profiles and then date the best matches until he found his soon-to-be wife.

Alexander Zhadan first made waves on RuNet – the online Russian-speaking community – a year ago, when he tweeted that he wrote an academic thesis using ChatGPT in just 23 hours. A few days ago, the young Russian IT professional once again made news headlines, this time for using the same AI tool to filter through thousands of online dating profiles and relying on its tips and advice to find the perfect partner and then make her his wife. Zhadan’s story, originally told through a series of posts on X/Twitter, has sparked a heated debate on the morality of using AI tools to find love online, and while the 23-year-old admits that his story could change how others see online dating, he did point out that ChatGPT has its limitations and that he needed to get involved personally to connect with his dates.

It all started with Alexander’s disappointing experience with popular dating apps like Tinder. He would swipe left, then right, then spark a conversation with a potential match and then that person would just disappear. It was a huge waste of time, but having become familiar with ChatGPT, he wondered if there was a way to use the AI tool to make his online dating experience more efficient.

Photo: Katy Anne/Unsplash

Zhadan began by having ChatGPT go through a whopping 5,239 women’s dating profiles to remove those he felt he wouldn’t click with based on a number of filters, like having fewer than two profile photos, astrology references, religious references, pro-war statements, as well as overly “revealing” photos. He felt like this was an important part of the process both for him and the girls, as they didn’t waste time interacting.

Then came the hard part – training ChatGPT to communicate with the remaining potential matches on his behalf. In an interview with Settlers Media, Alexander said that it took him about 120 hours of work to get the AI tool to a level he was satisfied with. To do this, he fed it his previous conversations with girls, set up response validation, and monitored the tool as much as possible. Still, the experience wasn’t perfect…

One time, ChatGPT set up a date with a girl without actually notifying him about it, which led to the girl having to wait for him for over an hour and a half (which he still deeply regrets), while another time the AI program scheduled a date in Moscow’s Bitsa Park, a forest in Moscow where an infamous serial killer dumped his victims’ bodies back in the 2000s.

All in all, ChatGPT helped Zhadan go on 12 dates with the best matches it could find, including one with Katerina, his future bride. The AI tool was very involved in the dating process as well, advising the 23-year-old to talk about his childhood, parents, goals, and values during the dates, to best asses how suitable each candidate was for a long-term relationship. The Russian man claims that he even asked ChatGPT how to provide to Karina, and got a “yes” thanks to its suggestions.

Alexander clarified that he did play a part in the selection process, as he reviewed each interaction he had with the girls he dated and fed his experience to Ghat GPT for an objective assessment.

“We must not forget about emotional interaction,” Zhadan said. “I went to meetings, I was already involved myself – I assessed whether the girl was suitable for me or not. Based on the results of the date, I made a review (what I liked, what I didn’t) and added it to the database. Then it made a decision whether to continue communicating or not.”

Karina, Alexander’s future bride, has yet to comment on his use of ChatGPT during their dating period, but the IT professional claims that he told her about it a year ago, and she’s still with him, so… As for the reaction of the general public, Zhadan acknowledges the ethical concerns of using AI tools to find love online, but claims that it is up to the online community to determine its boundaries.

After spending 120 hours of his time and $1,432 in API cost, Alexander feels like ChatGPT saved him a lot of time and money.